I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
