i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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