Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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