I wanna passion pit in your ass
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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