When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
