So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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