i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
