all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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