Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
