the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize