he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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