He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
