Dual....:-)
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
