Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
