were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
