who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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