just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
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This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
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i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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