I got chris browned last night
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
