We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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