For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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