If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
