Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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