I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Even my vagina gasped.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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