I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize