bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I will pee on everything he values.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
