don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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