If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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