Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
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Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
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I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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