I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
