I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
