what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
