I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I need to calm my uterus...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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