Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
