Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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