out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
