My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
