It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
