I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
