I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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