There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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