i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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