There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
