I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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