No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
