2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
How does one acquire holy water?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize