i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
