no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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