Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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