You're so nebulous sometimes
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
