I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
