I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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