All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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