I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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