Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
