If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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