I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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